Nov 21

The Messy Truth About Privilege



I typed a single word onto the page. Privilege. It sat on my screen for several days. I tried to start an article several times, but I simply couldn’t write, which is odd because usually I can get something out, even if it is complete garbage. This time was different though.


Maybe I should start with why this word was on the page in the first place. After all, what does privilege have to do with anything else I talk about on this blog?


While at a recent blogging conference there were a few discussions about privilege, and honestly I didn’t pay much attention to them. I was just on the periphery – you know those discussions, where you kind of eavesdrop while you are taking to other people. It’s a crappy way to listen as you are not really present in either conversation, but it happens, especially in loud distracting places.


There were hundreds of other topics being discussed, but this one stuck with me because it seemed an odd thing to talk about at a financial blogging conference. But there it was between the discussions of monetization, email lists, and financial literacy, just kind of lurking in the background.


Many people that blog about financial independence and early retirement fall into a pretty narrow demographic band, at least the ones I know of. There are exceptions, of course, but if the bloggers at FinCon were an accurate sample, together we are a bunch of privileged white millennials and gen-Xers with very few real problems: and by real problems I mean things like the constant threat of violence, living in neighborhoods where it is endemic. Problems like having no mentors or role models, or schools where just surviving takes 80% of a person’s intellectual bandwidth. I’m taking about living with the thought in the back of your mind that someone may shoot you because of your skin color, or having a tougher time getting a job because of the way you look or because of a criminal record you acquired as a dumb teenager.


I could go on, but you get the idea.


Looking in the Mirror

I don’t know what it’s like to be black, or not have fluency in English, or be a woman, or gay, or overweight, or to be abused by a partner, or in a wheelchair, or bipolar, or suicidal, or unemployable. I don’t have a criminal record. I’m a tall, average looking white guy. Using my grades and ability to score near the top of any test I’ve ever taken I will assume I have an above average ‘intelligence’ as measured by those imperfect proxies. I have a powerful resume of formal education and a couple of letters behind my name that will always ensure employment of some sort.


I can blend into most social situations and become invisible when I want to. I don’t worry when I walk alone at night because everywhere I go is relatively safe and I can probably handle myself in most situations where a gun isn’t involved. I live in the richest country in the world with a stable currency and a long history of stable political and social institutions and infrastructure.


Everything that makes me a ‘minority’ in our society is invisible to others – my thoughts and opinions are my own, and I can choose to share them or not.


This makes me pretty damn powerful, and a lot of that power comes from things I have had no control over.


I have a massive amount of privilege and advantage and I’ve benefited from it.


So what does this mean and why does it matter? In some of these conversations it was implied that this was a problem, and that in some roundabout way we were alienating people by writing from our position of privilege.


But why is this a problem?


Who cares about my privilege?


My knee jerk emotional response is so what? Who gives a fuck if I’m white or straight or without mental illness or whatever other privilege someone  says I have? I worked really hard for what I  have and didn’t ask for any special treatment. None of this is my fault, and why should my privilege matter to anyone? Does this mean what I say has no relevance to people who are different than me or don’t have the same advantage? I’m dropping knowledge bombs left and right here and anyone can read my blog and take whatever value is there. If they dismiss me then…whatever, idgaf.


Not really what one would expect from The Happy Philosopher, right?


Remember though, I have the same flawed brain as everyone – spinning out of control with crazy thoughts and self-talk. That’s the knee jerk defensive response, but even my flawed brain can realize that my first response to any emotional question is usually not the best one.


A calmer response may be that I don’t think a person needs to be exactly like me to get value out of my content, nor do I think I should change my writing because of my privilege, it is what makes me…well…me. And people should just be able to filter through my privilege anyways because I am an open, loving enlightened person.




I mean I know there are people that read (and get value) from my blog that aren’t exactly like me, because they tell me so in emails and comments (confirmation and selection bias in play here).


But after the emotional response and my later pouty rational response subsided, I wondered if there was some actionable idea worth exploring that lay beneath the surface, and if so what was it? I mean, does this privilege I enjoy get in the way of me being more effective? Was there something to it? Is there a deeper truth here?


I thought back to my past.


Welcome to the Real World

Before medical school I worked for a black woman. She was part of a research team and I was her lab assistant, helping run experiments and such. Up until that point in my life, my inner circle – the people that I really got to know well – were for the most part white. I knew black people of course, but due to the fact that everywhere I had lived up to that point was pretty homogeneous, and that we have a natural tendency to associate with people that look and act most similar to us I really didn’t have any close friends that were black.


Fortunately, that changed with this job. This woman and I became friends. Not go-out-and-have-a-beer-after-work friends (I didn’t really need more of these kinds of friends), but genuine share-your-thoughts-and-life-experiences kind of friends.


Issues involving race are not usually comfortable to talk about, but eventually we became close enough to where we could talk about things like this. She shared with me what it was like to be black and a woman working in a field dominated by white men. I didn’t really notice this until she pointed it out to me, but as I walked around I did notice that the demographics skewed this way. It was very interesting, but I didn’t think too much of it at the time.


Time went on.


One day we were in a meeting with several others discussing some sort of super boring science-y research things. I’m lucky I didn’t fall asleep, but I would soon be wide awake, because as we walked out of that meeting something happened that would change the way I see the world forever.


When we were a short distance down the hall on our way back to the lab she stopped me and smiled, a sort of mischievous smile like right before someone is going to tell you the punchline of a joke. I thought this odd, and was naturally curious. She leaned in a bit, lowered her voice, and asked me what happened in the meeting. What I noticed. I scratched my head totally confused, as I thought it was just an ordinary super boring meeting. I told her what I thought happened – my narrative. It was completely uneventful.


She smiled a little more, and told me what happened from her perspective. As her story unfolded, she pointed out how the conversation and interactions would have been different if she was white, or male. She showed me things that I saw, but didn’t really see. It was subtle, but after she pointed it out to me, I knew it was the truth, and I couldn’t un-see it. Everyone in that room was treated a bit differently based on who they were, and not necessarily by what they were saying.


There was no overt, in your face, someone needs to be fired racism or sexism. Everyone in that room was a good person, I have no doubt of this, but as the different narratives flipped back and forth in my mind, I realized I had no fucking clue what happened in that meeting! As I tried to remember the events clearly, I was seeing both narratives at the same time. It was like that white and gold dress that nearly broke the internet.

[Mrs. Happy Philosopher – the dress is blue and black]


This was an ‘I just took the red pill and woke up in a slime filled pod with pasty skin hooked up to a bunch of tubes staring a robot that wants to dispose of me’ moment. I must have looked like my brain was about to explode because she just started laughing at me as we walked further down the hall. At the time I didn’t think it was so funny, which of course just made her laugh harder.


There was no judgement, no guilt, and no shame, just two friends talking and sharing an experience. Most discussions of racism or sexism have at least a subtle tension beneath the surface. This one did not, and I think that was part of the reason it had such impact and I was so receptive. I didn’t have to defend my race or gender or privilege, I just could be me, a deeply flawed and vulnerable human being trying to learn.


Letting go of Reality

The thing that really messed with my mind though, is the realization that all of my life-experiences up to that point may not have been real, and neither were anyone else’s for that matter, and just how many times did I unintentionally insult someone and give them the impression that I was anything other than this awesome, incredibly enlightened and tolerant-of-everyone avatar that I have created in my mind?


To some people maybe I was a racist, sexist asshole. Needless to say, this disturbed me. I thought back to moments where my words were poorly chosen, or something got messed up between my thoughts and my expression of them and felt great remorse, even though the exchanges were probably long forgotten by anyone other than me.


Maybe most importantly though, in those few minutes I realized there are whole parts of this world that are completely invisible to me, even though I am looking right at them.


Scott Adams (the creator of Dilbert) during the 2016 presidential elections used the analogy that while we are all watching the same screen we are seeing different movies. We all have this movie of the world running that we think is truth, but we are literally seeing and experiencing different realities than the person right next to us. Some of us are watching a romantic comedy, while others may be seeing a horror movie that they can’t turn off. And we all assume our movie is the correct one, and that the other guy is just not seeing the truth.


Upon deeper introspection though, we ask ourselves the following question. How do we know which movie is real? The disturbing reality is that neither movie is real, not ours nor the online guru with 5 books and Oprah’s phone number in her address book. We see only a shadow of reality, our movie, which we mistakenly think is truth.


How does this relate to privilege?


“Our privilege shapes what we are capable of seeing, and it takes work to see a flicker or two of a movie that is not our own.”


A little later as all of this sunk in, I became a little angry. Why didn’t anyone teach this to me before I was in my 20s? This is massively important. You’d think someone, anyone, would have at least mentioned it in passing.  But who was there to teach me? All of my teachers and mentors throughout life were watching their move, and teaching me their truth. Since no one can see anything other than their own movie (except apparently my friend and former boss, who I will refer to as Morpheus from now on) it suddenly didn’t surprise me.

How I Changed

After this event I developed the ability to actually kind-of, sort-of see other people’s movies, or at least guess what they might be watching. Not all the time, and only when I pay close attention. It is easy to forget and I slip back to my default thinking all the time. We all do. But this was a new and valuable skill. I started seeing racism, sexism, classism and other isms that probably don’t have official words. I saw human interactions a little differently. All political discussions became more nuanced. It made me a little more aware of myself, and hopefully made me a better person.


But it also taught me that I was going to be judged, and often harshly and unfairly. People were going to see me differently than I saw myself, especially as our differences were more visible. People would make assumptions about me based on my privilege, or appearance, or age, or gender, or the way I talk and figure I can’t possibly fully understand their situation, and to some extent they are absolutely right. I can’t put myself in their shoes entirely.


I can’t really know what it feels like to be a 110lb woman walking alone to her car in a deserted parking garage at night. I can’t know what it feels like to be gay in a small town, where the sermon each week espouses the evil of homosexuality. I can’t know what it feels like to be a single mom with 3 kids in a violent neighborhood who wonders if all of her kids will be alive at the end of each day. I can’t know what it feels like to be in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship. I can’t know what it feels like to have my wife hand me divorce papers or lose custody of my kids while trying to keep my professional life from crumbling.


Paraphrasing Thomas Nagel; I cannot know what it is to be a bat.


I can only know what it is to be me.



Back to this word again. I mentioned that “privilege” sat on an empty page for a couple of days. I couldn’t figure out what to write, or even how to start, until another event triggered my mind into action. While I was at FinCon I went to an awards ceremony. Various awards were distributed to the ‘best’ blogs in various categories. I don’t know why I went. It was near the end of the day and I probably would have been smarter to just rest in the hotel room a bit, but I decided to go. I could not have cared less about arbitrary awards (no offense to the winners), but I wanted to hang out and talk to more people, and it actually ended up being quite entertaining and very well done.


One of the blogs nominated for some award (I can’t even remember what the award was) was called Bitches Get Riches which I thought was a pretty hilarious name for a blog, and it stuck in my mind (good branding Bitches!). I’ve never read this particular blog (I’m not really their target demographic), and I don’t know (or care) if they won the award or not.


A week later though, one of their articles showed up in my Twitter feed. It was about privilege. There was also a follow up.


I could see why they were nominated. It was good writing. The articles were thought provoking, and planted a spark for this post that came pouring out of my brain in a torrent of furious typing the next morning, and whether or not you or I agree or disagree with their article is not what is important. They got me out of my echo chamber and let me watch their movie for a while. That’s the point.


Many people prefer to live comfortably in their narrative of delusion and just want to watch their movie. In fact, this is probably most people. No matter what we write or say, we will be dismissed. But occasionally we will meet someone who is thirsting for more. When you meet these people, in real life or virtually, let them into your reality. Show them your movie in a non-judgmental way, and try and see their movie. Understand that some people from a background different than yours just aren’t going to be able to see the world like you do. It’s invisible to them, just as aspects of their lives are invisible to you.



The Way Forward

We usually can’t and won’t change our fundamental attributes. I will always be a white dude. I won’t ever be 25 again. I will eventually drift from middle age into whatever is next. It would be easy to surround myself with people just like me – same politics, age, religion, race, etc. It would be easy to build an echo chamber and live comfortably there with people that are watching similar movies to my own, but that’s not growth, its complacency.


Instead I can choose to engage with people and try and see what movie is running on their screen. That is the path forward, and that is how we allow our privilege to be an asset in our quest to make an impact upon this world, because at the end of the day that is what often gives our lives a great deal of meaning.


So when we get an angry comment or some criticism that we are too aloof or condescending or non-inclusive or too privileged or too…whatever and that we can’t possibly understand and we got everything wrong about the world, we just need to pause, and be aware that they are not seeing our reality. It is invisible. As soon as we accept this, it brings us freedom to see the world in a new way. And when our minds open, we can write or respond in a way that opens other minds, and allows them to see our world as we do.


When we start seeing other movies on our screen we can communicate in a way that will break down barriers. Slowly we will notice that a few people will start seeing us as the person first instead of the privilege. It will still be there, but less intrusive.


I’m going to keep digging, and keep pressing forward knowing that some people will just not be able to relate to me, and maybe it’s because of my privilege. That’s ok, because some people will relate. We must continuously remind ourselves of our own story, and not forget the privileges we enjoy, yet at the same time not let it be all that we are. When we become more open and less attached to these things that define us like race, gender and privilege our true self-expression emerges.


Remember, there is almost nothing that is black and white in this world, only beautiful colors and endless shades of gray. Savor the nuance.


When you read my blog keep this in mind. This is my movie, my experiences, my flaws, my bias, my happiness and my sorrow. It is then filtered through my raw thoughts into imperfect, imprecise words and heavily edited. It is then filtered in a reverse process into your mind and mixes with your thoughts and emotions and is projected back onto a screen – your movie.


My movie is messy and imperfect, and yes, it does contain my privilege, but it’s yours to watch if you choose to.


I give it freely, and I hope it helps you.


Thanks for watching.


Skip to comment form

  1. I will have much more thought provoking commentary after I digest and read this 10x more, but I just have to say that when there are around 2 Billion views (yes BILLION) of Gummy Bear related content, how do we question what is wrong in this world. :O)

    1. I do love gummy bears though. Is there a more perfect candy?

      1. Yes. Skittles.

    • Wendy on November 21, 2017 at 8:10 am
    • Reply

    You just made my day.
    I usually find discussing privilege hard to articulate without getting tangled up in defensive or condescending language – your analogy to a movie (despite the fact that I hardly watch any) really resonates. I will lean on this post the next time I’m grasping for coherence.
    Thanks for sharing these thoughts.

    1. Awesome! Yes, the movie analogy is a great way to get others to visualize this concept. I really deepened my understanding by reading Scott’s articles on this topic.

  2. Wow.. the movie analogy is good. I have a science-type mind, so I was reading this thinking that you’re describing Einstein’s Theory of Relativity to people’s lives. But then I thought, the Theory of Relativity is already omnipresent in the background of everything in the entire universe, so I guess it’s applied twice then….? Now I’m confused….

    Great post and and amazing writing as always!

    1. Thank you. I wish I could take credit for the movie analogy, but that was all Scott Adams.

    • Dr. Curious on November 21, 2017 at 8:31 am
    • Reply

    Great post, THP. I couldn’t help but think that most people on the other side of “privilege”—maybe 95% of people in the world, depending how you categorize it—have neither the time, energy, nor desire to give a shit about your thoughtful, nuanced discussion here (no offense).

    They are living on dollars or less a day, scrambling to feed themselves or their children, in an abusive relationship, incarcerated, etc. They are living moment-to-moment and/or preoccupied with the more primal needs of human survival. I wonder if they would think of themselves as lacking privilege or luck, or if these thoughts would even cross their minds.

    My life of privilege has mirrored yours in many ways: white guy, middle class, average height, US citizen, good test taker, etc. Everything I am influences everything I do and how I see the world: my movie. Is there even a “true” movie? If so, can we ever see it? I DO think there is such a thing as scientific truth and fact (i.e. I’m not a postmodernist), but everyone has no other option but to interpret the world through their own lens. And confirmation bias is a bitch.

    It is most critical that all are free to discuss these problems, no matter what our background or privilege. Thanks for starting the discussion.

    1. I think you are right, although I write mostly to the “privileged”. If we deepen our understanding, I believe we can lead others.

      Regarding the question of a “true movie”, there is probably only one true reality, but we are not capable of seeing it. We have limited cognition and ability to sense the universe, and when you really think about it we only experience the tiniest fraction. To experience true reality we would have to be infinite 🙂

    • Olivia on November 21, 2017 at 9:08 am
    • Reply

    Hmm. I appreciate your thoughtful take, and the point you make that others judging you based on your privilege is also an example of failing to see the individual human being for the group. But yet… the important distinction between privilege and race/gender (the comparisons you draw) is that you actually actively, constantly benefit from your status (whether you perceive it or not), and those in discriminated groups actively, constantly suffer from theirs (in all the ways, large and small, you begin to enumerate). So, yes, I should be understanding of your movie, but the understanding I am asking you for is qualitatively different—not least of which because it’s a call to action: for you to use your privilege to improve the lives of those who weren’t born so lucky.

    The best quote I’ve seen on this comes from Justin Simeon’s show: ““Dear white people. No one is asking you to apologize for your ancestors. We are asking you to dismantle the system of oppression they built, that you maintain and benefit from.” And the best example of what this looks like in small, everyday moments is in this story from psychologist Joy DeGruy:

    I personally am privileged in some ways (white), and not in others (female). I know for me it is an ongoing and difficult process to learn how to see the subtle currents that flow around us, favoring some and suppressing others. It’s an even more difficult process to stand up against those currents, and try to shift the landscape to change their flow, rather than just passively floating along. But it’s a necessary process if I am to be compassionate towards my fellow human beings.

    1. Thanks for the thoughtful comment. I love that video clip!

  3. Very well said! I think this is a hot topic not only in the PF blogging community but with the world at large. It’s a lot of new waters that the “privileged” are being exposed to and possibly judged whether it’s called for or not. But I do think it’s good it’s finally being acknowledged in this community. And everyone has their hot buttons that set them off. My big beef was PF blogs with titles such as, “How I retired at 33…and you should too.” That word “should” in any blog pissed me off. How do you know my situation? You don’t have a clue what it’s like to be me! That’s what I was thinking. 🙂 But you know what? I’m giving too much away to those bloggers who use that language, because I could take control and not have those blogs appear in my feed or support them. Easy peasy. But, I do try and stretch myself when it comes to things that I have a hard time imagining that I can achieve. Well, 33 is impossible because I’m past that now. lol! But…what nuggets can I take away from certain articles? Just because their situation is not exactly like mine, perhaps I can learn something? That is the other side of the argument where “underprivileged” individuals use the victim card to not be able to do something. It may be harder, yes, but doable. Saying you can’t because of your color, gender, sexual preference, etc., takes your own power away. As you can see, a very polarizing subject, but one that warrants further conversation!

    1. I think this speaks to the crux of many of those discussions I overheard. There is this fine line between using something as an excuse (IE: I don’t have the same privilege) and acknowledging that there are systemic problems that make it much more difficult for others to replicate our success. For me personally, I think just knowing my bias exists helps me communicate my ideas more effectively, but I still have plenty of blind spots.

    • Nicole on November 21, 2017 at 10:23 am
    • Reply

    I have 2 sons in high school. My son came home one day talking about ‘privilege,’ and that he is so fortunate to have the opportunities he has. Wow. I thought it was so cool that this was a topic of conversation – understanding starts with awareness.

    He shared this video with me.

    1. Yeah, I saw that video a few days ago as well. It’s an interesting way to frame privilege.

  4. I think this is a very relevant discussion – to know where and why one is, and should be is critical to happiness – and what is FI without that. Right?

  5. Excellent post Jeff. You discuss privilege in a very open, humble, and disarming way. I too appreciate the movie metaphor. It reminds me of a book that I’d almost forgotten: “The Tree of Knowledge: The Biological Roots of Human Understanding” by Maturana and Varela.

    An excerpt from one person’s summary of the book on Amazon (where I searched, trying to recall the title) explains the connection to your movie metaphor:
    “The authors drill down to molecular biology and then carefully build upward their premise that we construct the worlds we live in out of language. Each of us exists inside a story we tell ourselves about the way the world is, and we are completely contained within that story. In that sense, we interact with other people through the way our stories talk to their stories. And the success of our relationships and the effectiveness with which we act in our world is dependent on how well we can recognize the stories of others and understand the nature of our own story.”

    If you’re curious, I noticed a scanned, color PDF of the book online at a domain in Chile, where the authors are from:

    1. Thanks Joel, I will check out that book. We do live our lives through stories, and an interesting thought experiment to do is to imagine how your stories would be different by changing various attributes. Some languages have more words to describe certain emotions or mental states, so how would your stories change just based upon knowing a different language?

    • arcyallen on November 21, 2017 at 2:36 pm
    • Reply

    You nailed it with “Many people prefer to live comfortably in their narrative of delusion and just want to watch their movie. In fact, this is probably most people”. This describes privilege, politics, everything. People love to talk, but hate to listen. And it’s quite hard to even acknowledge “the other movie”, let alone try to sit next to the person and watch it for a minute. Great post!

  6. Thanks for the shout-out! We were nominated in a couple categories, but we won for funniest personal finance blog. Which is just preposterous because we are 100% serious about all things.

    This is a really beautiful description of a phenomenon I don’t see very often: being introduced to a new idea that challenges your preconceived notions of the world, having a knee-jerk reaction to it, and then settling down to think more critically about it. I’m looking forward to reading more.

    1. Haha, that’s right, it’s coming back to me now. Congratulations. Your blog is awesome. Say hi to Kitty for me and stop back anytime.

  7. I have tried to discuss this subject so many times with my interns, but never really had a great way to make it comprehendible. The whole time I was reading I found myself nodding my head and realizing that the my movie/ your movie is a brilliant way to talk about these issues. I also love the fact that it is not only recognizing and understanding other people’s movies, but how they might view your movie and make their own judgements about it based on the experience or current scene that is happening in theirs. Well done HP, well done!

    1. Awesome. Thank you 🙂

  8. A great article. Thank you for this, as I am one of these judgemental types who critizise the lifestyle and choices of others without giving a moment to pause and reflect about their motives and their life stories. The movie analogy is just great.

    1. Thanks Roberto.

    • gesmer on November 22, 2017 at 6:29 am
    • Reply

    Great article – as a 66 yr. old white Jewish male lawyer living in a New England city I think about the issues you raise constantly – when I interact with people who have had less privilege than me (most), I’m constantly trying to perceive their “movie”. Of course, I can’t, because I don’t know their story, but I do try. At least I’m aware that it’s very different from mine.

    1. Thanks Gesmer.

    • Ted Yaeger on November 22, 2017 at 11:43 am
    • Reply

    In short, self-preservation is a very strong motivator. Your ‘movie’, like mine, preserves our assigned and self-determined privileged status. You recognize your assigned privilege and then struggle with your self-determined silo. The former largely immutable but you challenge the latter…which took a long time to develop. And habits are hard to break, if at all, especially if you are immersed in a particular culture.
    I am fortunate to have grown up living with many cultures around the world…lots of movies, languages, foods, cultures. Even places where my race was a curiosity to the indigenous. Something common:

    Universally, Freudian doctrine of ‘social drift’ is a denominator of self-determination and your interest in other’s movies is really the numerator. It will always be controlled, manipulated, influenced, diluted by your denominator.
    You may empathize, sympathize, try to understand, commiserate with, etc. But you cannot actually be ‘it’.
    You cannot be a black woman, with three children and an elderly mother, working a minimum wage job, dealing with handouts meagerly dealt by surley, uncaring government workers that force you to wait in lines for hours every few months, wondering how much longer you can take it, your only respite is on Sunday morning, in Ethiopia or America.
    Watching her movie doesn’t help her or you…even if Hollywood produces it. But in her society, in her culture, she has the privileged advantages.
    But not in yours.
    Point: Everyone has privileges. It is avarice, greed and coveting that spoils the broth.
    As my mother once said, “Go to a pity party and dump your troubles into the pile…in the end you’ll take home your.”

    1. Thanks for the comment Ted.

    • Stop Ironing Shirts on November 24, 2017 at 5:03 am
    • Reply

    I loved reading this. You’re completely correct on perspective changing when you’re able to see someone else’s movie. Privilege is always an interesting discussion for me. I was the a firm libertarian for a long time, believing everyone has equal opportunity. Moving into a leadership position at work, helping be the liaison to a minority resource group, and asking a lot of questions about “why” has expanded my horizons.

    While I still believe anyone born in the United States has already won life’s lottery, I now realize that some people lack information early enough in their life to avoid making crippling choices, while others will always be cursed with poor decisions and we as individuals and collectively as a country have a responsibility to provide a safety net for those who are mentally and phiysically disabled, plus those who continue to make poor choices. Freedom of choice is a wonderful part of capitalism, but that freedom of choice allows people to make poor choices with dire consequences.

    Remember, almost everyone is a minority in some way. Diversity comes in race, gender, economic backgrounds, education, personality, and means of interaction. Diverse teams are also the highest performing teams. We all are privileged in some way, we are all a minority in some way, and our diversity can add to a team.

    1. Thanks for the comment. The problem with some interpretations of Libertarianism is the insistence that everything bad or good that happens in our life is somehow our fault and in our control. Outcomes are a combination of skill and luck, although I think we tend to underestimate just how much luck is involved in our successes.

  9. HP, I had this post siting on my email (due to its title) for a while but finally decided to read it and I have to say that it was well worth it. A little bit about me … hispanic, definitely not white or black … perhaps “brown” or Moreno (Spanish)?. English is my second language and I came to this country at the age of 27 to pursue graduate studies. Privileged? Yes, I was fortunate enough to have awesome parents who considered getting an education as priority #1 followed by learning a second (third and fourth) language and also saving for the future. Those are things I had no control over but ultimately influenced my personality and made me who I am. The funny thing is that in this country is super easy for individuals to create stereotypes. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked from which part of Mexico I’m from [I’m actually from Venezuela :)] or why I dislike spicy food. What’s even funnier is that when I say Venezuela people hear Minnesota… what the fuck?. Anyways, I do have a pretty good job but I think people get shocked when I tell them what I do (My impression is they believe I don’t deserve to be doing what I’m doing). Note: I don’t get this from everyone but it has happened occasionally. Don’t ask me why I get this impression but I wonder if it is because it doesn’t match the plot of the movie they paid to see or what the case might be. People see what they want to see and to me it’s just an ongoing reminder about the importance of intention and perception. As I’m talking about intention/perception, my intention is not to complain about how I’ve been treated in this country. The opposite is true, I love this country … it’s our home, we have lots of friends and we
    live a happy and super fulfilling life. Through hard work I’ve been given incredible opportunities so I have nothing but appreciation.
    I guess what I would say is that no matter what we do, we can only control our intention, the perception is controlled by the individual(s) we communicate with. Yes, you can provide clarifications, etc but at the end of the day their perception is reality. Anyways, I enjoyed reading your post, and yes I’m privileged but nothing I need to do on that one. The way I see it (just like you do) I control what I can control and can only hope to accept the rest, that’s pretty much it. Thanks again!

    1. Thanks for the comment. I’ve come to the conclusion it is impossible for humans not to stereotype. I am no exception. We make snap judgements based on someones gender, race, age, clothes they are wearing, their body language, etc. It’s not a bad thing as stereotypes and judgements are what has allowed us to survive. I think in modern society it is best if we simply recognize them and then let them go. It’s sort of like meditation – observe and let go.

  10. The question for me becomes what do we do with our privilege? I think the more privilege someone has, the more obligation they have to help those less fortunate. The people who are disenfrancised, downtrodden, and in unfortunate life circumstances often for reasons beyond their control.

    This goes to what you and I discussed at lunch upstairs on Thursday of FinCon–where do we draw the line on helping people? I think privilege plays a role on drawing that line.

    1. It is a good question, and one that really cannot be answered. It depends on your values. I’m a strong believer in individual morality – that we decide for ourselves what is right and wrong rather than rely on a government/religion/political party/blogger/etc. to tell us what our morals and values should be. If someone believes they have the obligation to use their privilege to help others then they are correct – for them. Just remember there will be people on both sides of your personal belief spectrum that think you are wrong for exactly opposite reasons.

      One could very reasonably make the argument that we are all living in absurd excess, and that we should reduce our consumption by 90%, sell most of our assets and buy mosquito nets and dig wells for people in Africa. We each have to decide for ourselves.

  11. Interesting perspectives all around. The acknowledgement of privilege is one thing, but using it to remove barriers is a whole nother ball game. What do you think that looks like in the personal finance space?

    1. Acknowledging and understanding why people think differently will hopefully allow for more open, honest and non-judgemental communication. Ultimately personal finance is about conveying ideas that people can use to improve their financial situation.

    • yz on February 12, 2018 at 5:15 pm
    • Reply

    Do you think turning privilege into a gratitude exercise might help?

    Maybe if people stopped being defensive about it they could finally see that other movie.

    Speaking of other movies, I would recommend you (literally) watch “The Naked Truth” on Netflix, episode #9 “Trumpland”
    If you do, please share your thoughts.

    1. I’m a big believer in the power of gratitude. The key to ‘seeing the other movie’ is to realize the other movie exists, and to become less attached to your own movie. I will put that show on my list, although I don’t watch much TV these days so it may take me a while.

    • Dave on February 12, 2018 at 7:54 pm
    • Reply

    Worrying about your privilege is definitively a first world problem. How about just worrying about being the very best version of ourselves every day ? Every one of us is unique. One of a kind. And it is OK to be who you are. It is normal for each of us to perceive others in different ways based on our upbringing, culture, education and life experiences. The essay you wrote means something completely different to me than to a previous reader. So never let anyone shame you about having some sort of ”privilege” for being who you are or achieving what you have achieved. There are no two identical human beings, thus none of us are truly equal.

    1. It is not useful to feel shame for having privilege, but it’s useful to be aware of the privileges we have. It allows us to see other peoples perspective with more clarity.

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